THE GOOD
Classy
Red Wine connotes instant class. No matter how dive-y/grungy/ greasy/clubby the vibe of your current locale, holding a nice glass of Pinot Noir elevates the situation ever so slightly (unless of course, the whole situation is satire, but that would insinuate some “intelligent” audience watching, who would appreciate your classiness I suppose?) Drinking replaces the “drunk girl” or “easy girl” stigma with a nice label of “cultured.”
Control
Most alcoholic drinks make you feel good…and then go crazy. Wine makes you feel good…and then fall asleep. When you’ve had a few fill-in-the-blank-hard-alcohol drinks, it’s like “I’m feeling good! Let me go dance on that table and take selfies and announce my true feelings to my crush.” When you’ve had a few glasses of red wine, however, it’s like “I’m feeling good! I think I’ll leave and go to bed now.” This allows you to confidently embrace the social communication golden hour when everyone is still semi-comprehending and accountable, yet stops you before the crazy hours of regrettable choices and nullified “networking.” Wine keeps you focused, present, and classy during the moments that matter, and then politely yet firmly leads you home like a good girlfriend.
Filter
Wine helps filter out the winners for me, dating wise. If a man can differentiate between a Pinot Noir and a Cabernet (or dare I say a Tempranillo and a Syrah), he’s that much closer to my heart. Ok, maybe this is specific to me, but this is a blog, after-all.
Money Saver
Let’s face it: you can’t chug red wine. You don’t do shots of red wine. (At least I hope not!) You simply casually sip. So much time added, and thus money saved.
Health
See: all other posts on “Red Wine.”
THE BAD
No Craziness
I don’t particularly care for insane, wild nights. However, if such activities constitute your proverbial cup of tea, perhaps wine isn’t the best option for you.
The Bar Wine Stigma
There exists some weird stigma surrounding bar wine. Whatever. I brush it off and refer to “Classy” above.
THE UGLY
Teeth Stains
Ok, yes: this is a problem. Red wine can do a number on the teeth, at least temporarily. I combat it by alternating wine and water sips. It’s also good to brush your teeth before wine drinking, as wine clings to plaque. Contrary to the “obvious” logic, you shouldn’t brush immediately after wine drinking – the acid in wine makes the enamel more prone to erosion from brushing. I did come across these “Wine Wipes” the other day. Very intriguing. I’ll add those to my To-Buy/Do list!
